Sports report with Jack Morningwood

I realize that straight fellas get all nervous and uncomfortable with the thought that at a moment when they least expect it, some gay guy might be checking out his package. But any misgivings I had about this cartoon were dispelled the other night as my partner and I were enjoying Mardi Gras at a corner bar. The Olympics were playing on the two televisions: the U.S. women's hockey team was crushing the Russian team 13-0 on one set, while NBC's coverage of the men's figure skating was playing on the other.

The bar's loudmouth spent the entire time that Johnny Weir was skating loudly telling everyone how gay Johnny Weir is. Now, by that point in the evening, every bar has its very own loudmouth, maybe two or three; so chances are, there were many other places in the U.S. and Canada, Mexico, Argentina and Italy, as well as Russia, Khazakstan and Korea, where some loudmouth straight guy was spending ten minutes letting everybody know what a flaming faggot Johnny Weir is.

So here's gay sportscaster Jack Morningwood having his way with straight boy sensibilities. And did you notice that Bode Miller leans to the right?